Feast or famine. Either way, a bellyache.
Mike has gone from being terrifyingly unemployed to working so much that, well, it’s terrifying. I’m not sure humans are designed to pull off eighty-hour weeks. Certainly not when they’re over forty. Don’t get me wrong, the money is great. But we miss him. And his haggard face, when we do get a glimpse of it, makes me wish there was a bit more balance in his employment life. Like if he had a “regular” office job, maybe. You know, a nine to five. Word on the street is those are easy. But he doesn’t. And he won’t. And that’s probably, for him, at least, a good thing.
For us? Well, life must go on, and four-year-olds–too young to understand such subtleties–must be bodily entertained. Even on Sundays.
Since MJ’s so immersed in the bird thing right now, I decided to bring her back to the Arboretum. It’s been over a year since we went there; I knew she’d remember nothing. And I was right. Even when I tried to prompt her memory, she knew zilch.
“There are peacocks?” I reminded her. “We got attacked by a goose?”
A stare as blank as the great outdoors. This was fantastic. It would be like a whole new experience for her. The beauty of a pre-schooler’s mind: It’s re-writable, like a floppy disk.
Speaking of distant memories.
Anyway. Back we went. And it was, indeed, like a brand new outing. We may as well have been arriving on Pluto. With plumed denizens. And an atmosphere, of course.
Greeted, as always, by a flock of raucous and gorgeous peacocks, my daughter looked mind-blown.
“Mama look!” she shrieked. “Do you see them?”
“Wow, Yes!” I cried. (Silently adding: “My little sieve.”)
“And look, ducks!”
“I don’t believe it!”
“You must be kidding!”
Seriously, her delight was totally infectious. Who cares that I’d seen–and seen, and seen!–all of this previously. The day was bright and temperate, the crowds thin, and the place absolutely bursting with wildlife. The pond especially was a veritable cornucopia of fauna. In addition to the mallards (“Whoa! Iridescence!”) we saw coots, hawks, scrub jays, turtles in scads, Canada geese, a double-crested cormorant, and several lizards. Large fish (trout? Coi? I have no idea. We haven’t hit the piscatory obsession yet) virtually threw themselves at us for pretzel crumbs. Sunlight leaped and glanced prettily off of leaves, water, even my daughter’s plastic sunglasses.
Later, wandering the rose garden, we found a wide stretch of soft grass and lay down. It was a sweet spot–not too sunburny, not too cool. Dizzying peacefulness. “It’s so quiet,” MJ said finally. “All I can hear are birds’ songs.”
We listened. It was true.
“I wish Daddy was here.” Her tone was half mournful, half matter-of-fact.
“Me, too,” I replied.
Another long silence.
“I’m going to tell him I saw eight plus eight plus one peacocks today.”
“You definitely should.”
She rolled over and sat up. A wide smile sprang onto her face. “And that one was a juvenile!”
“My favorite kind!”
Mine, too. Mine, too, my fledgling girl.