Expense Report

It’s a record, for me, at least. Today I visited three different grocery stores, bought eight bags of groceries, and spent just north of three hundred bucks. $311.02, to be exact. WTF? How does this happen? And how on earth do people with multiple kids do it?

Fortunately, when my marketing was done, I had a few minutes to myself, so came here to the library, where I’ve just picked up “Lean In” for absolutely free. Does this make me feel better? Slightly.

Now if only one of my daughter’s friends hadn’t repeatedly called her “stupid” today. It left her morose; I was worse. It’s all I can do to keep from walking over to the “bullying” section of the parenting shelf right now. There they’ll find me at closing time, turning pages, chewing my knuckles, silently sobbing.

The universe is vast. So are grocery bills. So is the list of things from which I cannot protect my daughter.

I am trying to lean in to the enormity of all I cannot change. To do otherwise is costly.

But laying down has its own price. Part of me wants to go home and teach MJ how to flip off her tormentors. This, too, will not help. But it might feel good for a second.

It’s a complicated calculation.

I am shopping for wisdom.

But I am bringing home mostly snack food.


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