Ah, Tuesday. My half day “off.”

• Dropped MJ at school.
• Went to car wash.
• Returned a phone call while waiting for car to be cleaned. Counseled a girlfriend on boy troubles.
• Drove to Target, still on phone. Continued talking to friend while  looking for stuff for MJ’s space-themed birthday party on Sunday. Uttered phrases like “some mens’ brains really are in their dicks” while perusing the kids’ paper products. Found nothing. Left with cotton balls, candy for the pinata I hadn’t yet purchased, and streamers.
• Went to Michael’s to return a huge bag of wrong stuff Mike bought for the party. Planned on buying more wrong stuff, but the clerk wouldnt let me return because I didn’t have Mike’s Amex. Spoke angrily to her. Told her I would never shop there again. Knew I was lying. Still, to save face had to leave without making any purchases. Decided to send Mike tomorrow.
• Dropped suit at dry cleaners.
• Did a shop at Fresh and Easy, worried the whole time about pinata candy melting in car.  Noticed giant lumpy pumpkins for sale. Got one for MJ. Also bought four bags of groceries, several cases of juice boxes for party, toilet paper, and various kiddie snacks.
• Raced everything home, unloaded car. Put groceries in fridge. Put candy in fridge. Put toilet paper in bathroom. Lugged lumpy pumpkin to front steps. Worried it would die in the sun. Wondered if it was actually alive. Left it.
• Changed sheets on our bed
• Changed sheets on MJ’s bed.
• Put in a load of laundry.
• Raced back down hill to nail appointment.
• Read entire September 3rd edition of New Yorker while getting mani pedi.
• Went with still-wet nails to bakery to order MJ’s birthday cake. Tried to find solar-system-themed decoration. No luck. Ended up ordering a Transformers cake without the action figures. All that will remain is a partial, fuzzy picture of an unnamed planet. I will supply additional decorations myself. From where, I don’t know. Probably Michael’s.
• Drove to party supply store to reserve tables. Far more expensive than last year. For a “low key” gathering, this thing is starting to break the bank. Looked for a rocket ship pinata. Nothing close. Sales clerk suggested I buy an R2D2  and cut the legs off. WTF? Left.
• Went to another party store. It had tons of pinatas, all of them star-shaped with media characters on sides. Contemplated the saturation of corporate branding in kids’ products. Contemplated painting over a Barbie face to make a plain star. Contemplated suicide. Left empty-handed.
• Picked up MJ, who was grouchy and tired.
• Brought her home, showed her new pumpkin. Was informed it was the “wrong kind.”
• Wondered if pumpkins are returnable.
• Walked dog.
• Brought in trash bins.
• Switched laundry.
• Fed animals.
• Made dinner.
• Got MJ ready for bed. Consoled her when she found out I have to work tomorrow and cried for half an hour.
• Put her down.
• Straightened house.
• Wrote post.
• Considered going back to work full-time.