There are a lot of great kids’ books out there. “Goodnight Moon,” “Go Dog, Go!,” “Brown Bear, Brown Bear–” the list is long. There’s only one, though, that doubles both as a beloved classic and a personal grooming tool.

Why, it’s “Pat the Bunny,” of course.

I don’t know about you, but “Daddy’s scratchy face” has served me as an emergency emery board on any number of occasions. Most recently a half hour ago. Thank you, Dorothy Kunhardt. You truly understand the frustrations of a ragged edge. I’m tempted to start carrying a copy of PTB in my purse. Of course I could just buy myself a new file, but there’s something so satisfying about buffing my nails on a board book. I feel like a genius.

Now if the volume in question could just do something about my callouses. Because let me tell you: “Soooooo big!” doesn’t begin to describe them. The bunny, in fact, has asked me to refrain from petting him until I sort them out.

Ah, well. Nothing’s perfect. But one little pink tome comes pretty damn close.