Dear Crabby

A reader writes in with some Michael’s-related advice:

When you go back to pick up the picture, say you don’t like it, and insist that they take the frame back. Call the manager, bring Mike, make a fuss. It’s a big company, they can take the loss better than you. Think like a Tiffany’s customer!!!  $560 is riducuous (sic). I love Michaels…but that’s highway robbery.

I print this mostly because — honestly? I love the idea of being an advice columnist. I know. I know. The above reader isn’t looking for help. She’s offering it. Still, I don’t get many chances to say “a reader writes…” I get still fewer to use “sic.” I love that word. Spellcheck has done it great harm, and, frankly, I resent it.

As for the advice itself? The advice given? It’s familiar. I got a similar suggestion from the guy at Michael’s. When I called him to cancel the order and found out it was too late, he suggested, rather apologetically, that I “register a complaint” when I come to pick up.

“You may be able to get some money knocked off the price,” he added.

But really, ought I to complain? The whole damn thing is my fault. I’m the one who’s impulsive. I’m the one who’s illogical. I’m so parsimonious that I routinely consider turning in plastic bottles for the nickels I’d get. Now I go to Michael’s and spend more money there than anyone since Oprah Winfrey? Do I deserve to “make a fuss?” I think not. I made a bed; I’ll lie in it. Even though it’s short-sheeted, bug-infested, and decorated in tulle.

I wonder whether Michael’s has a craft for that?

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