Wanna live longer? Get rid of your cable.

Or stop watching TV. That’s what the New York Times implies, anyway. In an article in today’s Well section we’re told that the dangers of sitting are significantly greater than we thought, and that watching television — while slumped catatonically on the couch — is downright lethal.

…the findings were sobering: Every single hour of television watched after the age of 25 reduces the viewer’s life expectancy by 21.8 minutes.

Holy shit. By that measurement I should be dead, well, just about now. Wait for it…

Phew.

Viewed from this perspective, shows like “The Wire” and “Breaking Bad” ought not be lauded, but rather castigated for their life-threatening qualities. Even so-so shows (like “The Good Wife,” the current object of my one-hour-a-night television habit), are to be regarded with suspicion. And reality programming — the self-proclaimed crack cocaine of television — should be feared like the black plague. (It already is, by me, at least.)

But it’s not the content that’s the problem in this case. It’s the way we take it in. Sitting is just, apparently, dreadful for us. So, instead of giving up my TV micro-habit, I am going to take it on the road. Or at least to the utility room. I think I can fit my computer on the end of the ironing table. Then I can kill two birds with one stone.

Or iron one shirt.

And buy myself another 21.8 minutes.