- Admitted we were powerless over Trader Joe’s, and that our lives had become unmanageable.
- Came to believe that shopping after lunch would restore us to sanity.
- Made a decision to renounce sugar completely for Lent. Remembered we were not Christian.
- Made a searching and fearless inventory of our cabinets.
- Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to the human being we lived with that they contained a deplorable excess of heavily packaged snack items.
- Were entirely ready to have our spouse remove all of these packages.
- Humbly asked, though, that this not take place until after we had eaten the food in them.
- Made a list of all the items we should be buying instead of dark-chocolate covered, sea-salt infused peanut-butter cups. Placed all items in cart.
- Made a direct bee-line for the freezer case. Swore that we deserved mint ice cream sandwiches after making such positive changes in our lifestyle.
- Continued to take personal exception to TJ’s produce selection. Insisted this forced us to subsist on their blueberry Greek yogurt. Full fat. With granola.
- Sought through vigorous housework and drinking more water to obviate the effects of salt, fat, sugar, and processed-foods-in-quaint-packages on our deteriorating bodies.
- Having gained ten pounds as a result of these steps, we tried to carry our shopping lists to Fresh and Easy, and to practice more aggressive forms of exercise when that tactic failed us.
thumbstumbler 
I thought you said you reorganized that cabinet.
That was yesterday.
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