I remember a friend telling me once: “Kids aren’t as expensive as everyone says. Not for the first few years, at least.”

She was wrong. Dead wrong. As dead as the motherboard of my laptop, apparently.

The day before yesterday Myra-Jean knocked over a glass of lemonade on my computer. Although the entire thing wasn’t destroyed, the USB ports were fried. I have just learned that — since they are connected to the abovementioned part —  it will cost $600 to repair the damage.

Obviously, I will not be doing it. This means no more USB ports. So, no more downloading of pictures off of the good camera, no more printing, no more backing up. What does this say about my computer’s long-term prognosis? Nothing good.

What does it say about letting a child near your computer with her wobbling glass of sticky, sugar-filled beverage?

That the motherboard is, indeed, fried. Sigh.