- Watered all terraces in front and back gardens.
- Fertilized all non-succulent plants, front and back, with liquid stuff we bought from plant store. Some kind of fish or seaweed-type fluid. Realized I could’ve saved myself money and just used what comes out of our water filter.
- Fertilized succulents with “Cactus Juice.” Asked them each, as I did so, to “grow a little faster.”
- Deadheaded salvia plant. The term “deadhead” implies that there are living blooms left behind. Not the case here. Can you deadhead an entire plant? How about an entire garden?
- Watered mysterious “stump plant” that has sprouted big green shoots and, yesterday, a spectacular white flower. Every day, a surprise.
- Cut back ivy growing along side of house while simultaneously muttering “Get back. Get back. Get back.”
- Deadheaded lavender plant. Wondered why it doesn’t look as good as everyone else’s. It’s not supposed to be yellow.
- Sighed over dying herb plant. Muttered “who kills rosemary?”
- Wondered if all of this talking to myself makes me the “eccentric type” or just crazy.
- Watered and fertilized regular lemon tree. I just read that you are not supposed to water citruses near their trunks, but rather around a wide periphery. Same with fertilizing. But it seems counterintuitive. Watered and fertilized around its trunk. Felt like a jerk.
- Watered and fertilized the Japanese lemon tree. Listened to the screeching of new mockingbird babies in its branches. Another family has moved in. Unbelievable. It’s an aviary tenement. I am a slumlord. I want to raze the building and put up a stripmall.
- Filled bird feeders. I am also a soup kitchen.
- Spilled large quantity of fertilizer on muddy patch where tools are kept. The weeds will be spectacular.
- Deadheaded unknown flowers near mailbox. Wished they weren’t “so pink.” Threw ends into yard waste.
- Contemplated sickly yet still-terrifyingly-toxic oleander tree on property. We think it is dying of an incurable disease. Better it than us.
- Asked it to die faster.
thumbstumbler 
Are you sure that stuff needed to be fertilized again? I thought it was once every three months…
Its only been about a month and a half since the last time we did it.