Financially speaking, as I mentioned yesterday, we are sort of in the red right now. Actually, not sort of. We are in the red. The burgundy, even. If we were a hamburger, we’d be extra rare. If we were skin we’d be sunburnt. If we were — well, you get the point. We need cash. So I have dedicated today to making extra money in whatever small ways I can.

My income-generating tactics so far:

• Listed three items on ebay. (Here, here, and here, in case you’re shopping for rumpled, poorly photographed, used clothing).
• Found a pawn shop to bring my old engagement ring to. Will go with Myra-Jean after nap. Is that weird? I don’t think so. They say you should expose kids to everything. Plus, maybe they have toys.
• Found a “back up” jewelry store to bring ring to if the pawn shop is disappointing and/or creepy and/or filled with criminals fencing flatscreen TV’s.
• Called Time Warner (for four-thousandth time) to work on resolving mistaken equipment charge that got sent to collections — even though we paid it! — and brought our credit rating down 100 points. Once this is cleared up we can refinance our house and save $60 per month. Which I will need for tranquilizers to cure me of the permanent stress injury my brain has incurred from dealing with another utterly and unforgivably asinine and Kafkaesque utility company.
• Ironed one shirt, thereby saving $2.25.
• Ate lunch at home.
• Photographed ancient Volvo fender Mike has in garage. Will list it on Craigslist. Could be worth a lot, considering its rarity. Could belong in an automotive museum. Could be pawnable…? Could also be used as a planter if all else fails. This will save me a trip to Potted. More money saved.
• Went to park. It’s free! We do this every day, but I needed to flesh out the list.

Too bad I don’t actually have that Time Warner equipment. I could sell it at the pawnshop while we’re there. Or at least throw it at anyone who looked unsavory.