Slice O’ Life

A two-year-old GIRL, her FATHER, and her MOTHER sit at the breakfast table. Both of the parents looks bleary and disheveled.

MOTHER

So, you’ll be pleased to know I taught Myra-Jean “anus” last night.

FATHER

Great.

GIRL

What’s anus?

MOTHER

I taught you. Remember? The hole your poop comes out of. (To father) I haven’t had the heart to move on to “vulva.”

FATHER

Huh.

GIRL

Does Grandma have an anus?

MOTHER

Yes. (to father) I guess I’m still not convinced.

FATHER

Convinced of what?

MOTHER

Of vulva. It’s always been “vagina.” Why should it change now?

FATHER

But we looked it up in the book. It said they were right. It’s “vulva.”

GIRL

Does Grandpa have an anus?

MOTHER

Yes. (to father) Still, I’d like to check with someone. Like a doctor. Hmmm….

She looks off pensively.

FATHER

What?

MOTHER

I’m wondering if we know any doctors. Do we? Anyone…?

FATHER (drily)

How about our doctor?

MOTHER

Oh. Right.

CHILD

Does Mina have an anus?

MOTHER

Have you guys had breakfast?

And we FADE to black.

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