Asked Mike to take MJ to his woodshop for five minutes so I could “meditate.”
Went to bedroom and prepared to sit. Realized the sheets needed changing. Stripped bed.
Sat on dirty bedding and meditated for two minutes. Mantra: lasagna for dinner? Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.
Started load of wash. Realized I should shower while I had a free moment. Stopped load of wash.
Took shower. Dressed. While doing so realized bedroom floor was dust savannah.
Vacuumed bedroom. Mike and MJ still in shop. Score! Headed for living room. Vacuumed it. Attempted to suck up pile of legos in the middle of the rug. Failed. Apparently my Dyson didn’t come with a “toys” attachment. Must get one.
Still no Mike and MJ. Vacuumed MJ’s room.
Brought vacuum cleaner to utility room. There found annoyed husband. Apparently I was supposed to go get him when I was done meditating. Now he is late for work.
Kissed Mike good bye. Apologized again. Reminded him to take lunch.
Walked dog with MJ. Looked for baby birds. I think they really are dead this time.
Got rained on.
Re-started load of laundry.
Made MJ playdough — blue and yellow. She promptly combined them. Did not make green.
Made scones. Didn’t have buttermilk. “Food Substitutions Bible” said to use milk with lemon juice instead. Result: doorstops with raisins.
Decided to make lasagna so Mike will have food — edible — for when MJ and I go out of town.
Realized I didn’t have the ingredients.
Headed to Trader Joe’s.
On way dropped off two big bags of clothes at consignment shop. Left MJ in car. In illegal spot. Wondered if I would be arrested. Wasn’t.
Came home with three bags of groceries. While unloading them from car noticed dress hanging on clothesline. It had gotten rained on. Brought it, groceries, and daughter inside.
Decided dress was functionally “sprinkled.” Ironed it.
Petted MJ, who had declared that she was now a “white dog named Mina.” Fed her pineapple.
Started to put groceries away.
Changed second poopy diaper.
Finished putting groceries away.
Put MJ/Mina down for nap.
Made spinach lasagna.
Washed all dishes from the day so far — about 650.
Read NYT article about the death of conversation. Resolved to never again text or e-mail in front of MJ. Knew I would fail. Despaired.
Put clean sheets on bed.
Started to put clean cover on duvet, but found it was badly torn. WTF? Does my dryer have teeth? Decided to get rid of it, then realized that, with the hole where it is, I can now reach in the top of the cover and pull the duvet up from the bottom! Vast improvement. Contemplated patenting design.
Read twenty-three pages of History of Jerusalem. Thirty pages to go. Must finish before leaving. The pressure. I have come to hate this book.
Went and got MJ, who had woken. Fed her lasagna. She picked out all the spinach.
Played “seashore” in the utility room.
Sat in the front garden and “watched the world go by.” MJ waved at passing cars. No one waved back. Jerks.
Made MJ an almond butter and jelly sandwich. Put sliced fancy tomatoes on side. Watched as she systematically destroyed, without actually ingesting any of, entire meal. Calculated that she had just rendered inedible about seven dollars worth of artisanal food. Could not bring myself to throw it away, eat it, or feed it to the dog. Left it on the counter.