To Done 4-6

  • Woke at 8, hopeful that MJ had pooped in the night, and that Mike — who was on the early shift — had gotten to clean it up. She hadn’t. He hadn’t.
  • Gave MJ new, stronger medicine — the three enemas, two doses of stool softeners and six plums given in the last two days have clearly done nothing.
  • Waited for poop. Move over, Godot.
  • Called new pediatrician and made appointment for afternoon.
  • Fed MJ a pear.
  • Yelled at Mike to remember his lunch. Noticed that he was treating me like a stress case. Snapped at him to stop.
  • Walked Mina. She pooped.
  • Took MJ to Descanso Gardens (to kill time until doctor’s appointment.) Wondered if relief would come there, among the flowers. It didn’t.
  • Had lunch at random taco stand in La Canada. Hoped it would be “a find.” It wasn’t.
  • Went to pediatrician. Not worried. Said MJ’s stomach is soft. Some kids go three weeks without poop. Twisted colon is rare. Keep up the medicine.
  • Drove home. 
  • Put MJ down for a nap.
  • Sat in front of laptop. Did nothing useful for an hour.
  • Washed breakfast dishes.
  • Read one page of “History of Jerusalem.”  It is taking me longer to read than Jerusalem is old. But I am learning much. None of which I will retain.
  • Woke MJ. Gave her a plum. If I had eaten this many plums I would be afloat on a sea of poop. She is not.
  • Walked Mina. She pooped again.
  • Set MJ’s easel up in the front garden and encouraged her to “paint nature” while I tended yard. 
  • Deadheaded Birds of Paradise.
  • Weeded under Tree of Death
  • Swept entire front “porch” (cement slab) and steps.
  • Finally threw away the earthenware pot the floor guy broke three months ago. It is in four pieces. We will never fix it.
  • Discovered that MJ had painted her own hands and face, not paper. Redirected her.
  • More gardening: drowned aphids in rubbing alcohol while simultaneously muttering “welcome to mortality, assholes.”
  • Let MJ “water plants” — aka “distribute mud.”
  • Cooked chicken cutlets. Did not use food service gloves. Still have not bought them. Washed hands compulsively under scalding water. I am the Howard Hughes of salmonella.
  • Gave MJ more medicine. Lied about it being in her milk. Realized too late she is not supposed to have milk. I am a nitwit.
  • Gave MJ a bath.
  • Read her three books. Covered her. Sang to her. Put her down.
  • Sat down at my computer. Started to type. 
  • MJ called me back in. She had pooped. A rabbit turd. Tried to be upbeat. “Good job!” Changed diaper.
  • Made a frozen pizza.
  • Waited.

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