Attempted to clean up the utility room. This attempt amounted to: hanging up an umbrella, kicking a vacuum cleaner, and removing a shirt from the extra ironing board it was hanging on to dry. Unfortunately I had to put another, wet shirt where it had been. I have run out of hangers. There is another shirt hanging on the stroller.
Vacuumed entire house (except for kitchen), while MJ cowered with her father in the other room saying “I’m brave, I’m brave.”
Went to second hand store to try to buy MJ some shirts and perhaps a new puzzle or two. Achieved the former, not the latter.
Did fire engine puzzle three times.
Read two books about insects (MJ’s current obsession) six times each. Took a trip to field to look for ladybug pupae. Taught my daughter the word exoskeleton. Concluded she is a genius.
Went to indoor playground. Attempted to watch my daughter while simultaneously reading L.A. Weekly piece on medical marijuana. Failed at both. Never finished piece.
Slept for an hour and a half. Woke feeling stoned.
Took another trip to field. Saw more pupae. Also a caterpillar. Read books on insects while sitting in field — at daughter’s request. Concluded that my daughter is eccentric.
Called car insurance company to clear up meaningless detail. Twenty minutes.
Called life insurance guy. Re-test of urine needed. Considered that I may be dying. Considered that Mike may be. Grieve briefly.
Swept kitchen and dining room after being “forbidden” by daughter to vacuum there.
Talked to daughter about how screaming “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!” is an unacceptable form of communication.
Put homemade cookies in Mason jars to give away.
Cleaned kitchen floor with Mr. Clean’s Magic Eraser while wearing food service gloves (that I usually use for chicken preparation) to protect my hands from whatever toxic chemicals make that stuff work so frighteningly well. Realized afterwards that if “Magic Eraser” can get the stuff off of our floor it got off, it can certainly eat through my plastic gloves.
Washed my hands really well. Twice. Imagined my skin was being eaten away at slowly.
Considered mopping the floor with 7th Generation to counteract Mr. Clean.
Cleaned bathtub so babysitter wouldn’t think I’m a pig mom. Used green cleaner.
Cleaned shower floor with Windex. Concluded that I am insane.
Picked up fire engine puzzle pieces for what felt like the six thousandth time.