Garden Update — Or Today’s Near-Fatalities

For a person who supposedly started this blog to write about gardening, I certainly avoid the topic shamefully. Probably because I avoid the activity equally shamefully.

About a month ago, for instance, I received a sage plant as a housewarming gift. I wrote about it here. I was going to use it as the basis for a new herb garden. One that I would not kill. I promptly stuck it in the back yard — and forgot about it. I only remembered it quite suddenly a night or two ago, as Mike and I sat talking to a friend. I think someone mentioned “sage advice.”

I leapt up with a start, smacked my forehead with my hand, and yelled “My God, I did it again!” I was sure it was dead.

Thankfully — and somewhat miraculously —  it wasn’t. True, my little sage was yellow, thinned, and wilty, but it had hung on, saved by stray drips from our neighbor’s sprinkler system. I mean, really. How pathetic can you get? My plants are surviving on the (inadvertent) irrigation of strangers. If there were such a thing as a horticultural Social Services I would be arrested by now. At the very least, I’d be banned from ever going near a nursery again. Let alone picking up a shovel. Sadly the flora of L.A. have no such protection. (There’s a cause there, for someone who’s looking for one…)

Anyway. This is why I’m planting a succulent garden. It’ll need far less tending than herbs, roses, and the like. But I fear even it may wither at my ungenerous hands. If only I could find plants that required nothing at all to survive — I might grow an exemplary patch. Since that is unlikely to occur, though, I will just have to become less “forgetful.”

Oh, did I mention the mint out front? It’s dead. All of it. They said it couldn’t be done.

They didn’t know me.

One thought on “Garden Update — Or Today’s Near-Fatalities

  1. angel chapin

    Jessica, My heart goes out to you. Mint is usually very hearty, even on the ocean, where it is ignored, it thrives. And in fact tries to take over my sad excuse for an herb garden.
    Rosemary, chives and oregano also having been coming back every year with absolutely no encouragement.
    Keep going, don’t give up, and besides I love reading about it all (as I know exactly what u are going thru, and u are very entertaining).

    Reply

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