When a person is in bed in a room at a Hyatt hotel in Bethlehem, PA, and is sharing said space with a two-year-old who is right on the other side of a thin partition and having a decidedly diffident relationship to the act of sleep — this even though it is eleven o’clock and the adult in the room is wildly fatigued — and when the adult in question, therefore, must remain absolutely silent, but has no book, no headphones for her iPod and obviously no ability to watch the titanic flatscreen TV on the other nearby wall because of the aforementioned tot — who is currently scratching at the sides of her Pack-N-Play, muttering maniacally to her stuffed wolf, and occasionally yelling “shhhh!” — and when said adult can furthermore NOT turn out the lights — due to the recent and dramatic onset of fear of the dark in her daughter –until said child is thoroughly asleep, necessitating that the adult lie awake until the nearby scratching, wolf whispering, and thunderous shushing subsides and the lights can be turned off, well, that person would at least like a painting — even a hideous, crookedly hung, ersatz watercolor featuring gondolas, parasols, cockatoos, and a ruined Cathedral — all in muted taupes and pinks — to gaze upon.

But apparently — in Bethlehem, PA, at least — the aesthetic for hotel walls has gone blank and minimalist. Except for the fire prevention mechanisms, which are placed where you cannot miss them.

Perhaps the Hyatt has gone conceptual? My husband would be very happy. Me, I’m going to see if there’s a Gideon in my drawer.

Of course there is.

Maybe this is a plot. If it is, it’s working.