Our house is making cracking noises. Sharp ones. Rather frequently. “GRACK!”

Mike and I are telling each other it’s just settling, but honestly? It sounds more like snapping. Houses aren’t supposed to snap. Or crackle. Or pop. A house is not breakfast cereal. I am deeply disconcerted.

Another source of disturbance: Arthur is apparently an aardvark. WTF???!!! Has the world gone mad? More on this later. I’ve got to get some sleep.

“GRACK!”