Today’s progress:

Sigh. It looks like I’m creating a garden for little people. Who have a baby powder fetish. (It’s actually gypsum. I think I was supposed to blend it in more).

“Designing With Succulents” suggests strongly that, when trying to landscape one’s house from scratch, one should bite the bullet and buy larger plants so you don’t have to wait four years for your garden to look respectable. But, notorious cheapskate that I am, I went with the Lilliputian versions of my “anchor plants,” (such as the Agave Attenuata in the upper right corner, which, at its current size, evokes less the “Ray of Light” of its American name and more a tiny, faltering spark.) At this rate the garden will look fantastic three owners from now. In 2044. Perhaps they will use my dead body as compost.

NO MORBIDITY, Thumbstumbler! Just focus on the next, tiny step. You need to buy more plants. A lot more. Groundcover, sedge grasses, perhaps something bigger than an ant’s ass to fill that huge empty space. You’ll get there. And hey, maybe tonight’s 80 mph winds will blow all the gypsum away and make that area look less toxic-waste-sitey. Maybe they’ll blow everything away and you can start over again…with a dust garden. Talk about drought resistant. Blog THAT, hipster housewives!

Every silver lining has a storm system behind it. Or something. Me, I’m going to bed.